I'm in my mid-twenties, which means I'm at the age where my friends are getting engaged, married, and/or having babies. While I have a caring and loving boyfriend neither of us is anywhere near wanting to get married-we just celebrated being together a year. Saying that, it's odd how the unspoken social pressure to be further along in my relationship is normal. The number of questions I constantly receive regarding: "when I'm going to move in with my boyfriend" or "when we're getting married;" is firstly laughable but more over frustrating. I'm not ready to be married. I need to stabilize my career before I can be married. I love the idea of going through the highs and lows of life with someone, but I still need to do some things on my own. I know, I'm an independent, stubborn, and strong-willed woman. Deal.
Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend. I'm crazy about him and my nightly desire for cuddles is strong. So, yes, there is a part of me that would love to live with him-we currently live an hour and a half away from each other-but I like living alone. I like being able to come home to a quiet and empty apartment. I like being able to stay up late listening to music, watching TV, reading the next book for my book club, or baking cookies when my insomnia is acting up. Plus, based on our careers it doesn't make sense for us to live together as we'd both have to commute 30 mins to 1 hour and neither of us is interested in that.
Why I am talking about this? This past week was fantastic as my one of my best friends from college got married and I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. It was also a great weekend as this was the first time my boyfriend was able to meet my friends and family. He passed with flying colors!! The majority of my extended family and close friends live on the east coast or other parts of the country. Sure, I have friends where I live but it's different. As I mentioned in my last post, I don't feel as though I have a strong community in Albuquerque, but I'm working on it. Being around friends and family helped me recharge and put certain aspects of my life in perspective-I'm doing okay, even when I don't believe it.
Anyways, this blog is about ADVENTURES so let's get back to that. This was my boyfriend's first trip to the East Coast!!! When looking at buying plane tickets, we decided to go to NYC first as it was cheaper and we used it as an excuse to have some fun. New York is one of my favorite cities and I love showing it off. Granted we did the typical tourist attractions-Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Ground Zero pools, Time Square-, but that's part of New York's charms. We had a ton of fun and then left for the wedding.
The wedding was held in Connecticut. It was a beautiful ceremony and because my friends are geeks I wore Star Wars shoes! Who said being a bridesmaid isn't fun? Speaking of wedding parties, it's a big deal!!! A part of me didn't realize how important it was being in a wedding party until I was standing at the front of the church, watching my friend marry her now husband, and then it hit me. Friends and family make up the good and bad memories in our lives, which is why they are important. They are our support systems and of course we want them to celebrate the good and help us through the tough.
Bear with me in this hypothetical. Given everything above, if I was getting married I'd want my three closest friends in my wedding party. I love my siblings and they're supportive, but I'll always be the youngest and baby to them. I know they are proud of me and my accomplishments, but like the tough kid I am: I don't tell them when things are bad.
I do tell my friends when I'm having bad days and that's why I'd have my friends in my wedding party. My friends and I call each other when we're ecstatic, celebratory, bored, depressed, or just having a typical day. Two of my best friends live in other parts of the country than I do and it's hard, but I value their text messages, phone calls, and skype sessions. Some of those calls are the highlights of my week. I guess what I'm trying to say is my friends are important to me and I love them very much. I don't make friends easily-I never have-so when someone is in my close friend group it means something of great importance.
I hate to quote Grey's Anatomy, but this is how I see my best friends:
Does it really surprise you that I'm Christina?
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