Actors don't choose

When I was in college, it was evident who were the people that wanted careers as professional actors and did it as a hobby. A friend of mine, who went to a different college and considering being a professional actor, was once told by a professor: "If there is anything else that could make you happy, do that." It's blunt, but it makes sense to me. It's that same thing idea of how organic chemistry classes are used to weed out pre-med students-I was one of the weird ones who took organic chemistry because I was interested in the subject but knew I didn't want to be a scientist.

I spend a massive amount of time thinking about my career--probably to a level that is unhealthy. I can't help it. I was born into a family of workaholics. I also am a freelancer, which means I'm constantly looking for work and how to further myself to accomplish my goals.

I was recently approached about the idea of going on a tour with a show and...Money wise it would be amazing. Travel wise, it could be a fantastic opportunity. I'm not sure how I'd handle the constant lack of sleep but I'd get used to it.

My real concern is not acting for a full year. I've never done that. I've always done at least one show a year if not more. If I don't act after awhile my soul starts to ache and I feel it physically in my body, I think that's what it must feel like to be going through life and not doing what you're supposed to be doing. Recently, the happiest I've been is when I've been taking acting lessons for film.

I think there are certain careers that people are called into: teachers, doctors, and nurses to name a few. Acting is one of those. people who choose to have a career as an actor don't do it for the fame and money. We do it because we cannot imagine anything other life. Of course there are those who just fall into it and that's perfectly fine--I'm looking at you Hugh Grant.

I don't have answers. I'm in my twenties. I'm figuring it out.

An adventure and a wedding

I'm in my mid-twenties, which means I'm at the age where my friends are getting engaged, married, and/or having babies. While I have a caring and loving boyfriend neither of us is anywhere near wanting to get married-we just celebrated being together a year. Saying that, it's odd how the unspoken social pressure to be further along in my relationship is normal. The number of questions I constantly receive regarding: "when I'm going to move in with my boyfriend" or "when we're getting married;" is firstly laughable but more over frustrating. I'm not ready to be married. I need to stabilize my career before I can be married. I love the idea of going through the highs and lows of life with someone, but I still need to do some things on my own. I know, I'm an independent, stubborn, and strong-willed woman. Deal.

Don't get me wrong, I love my boyfriend. I'm crazy about him and my nightly desire for cuddles is strong. So, yes, there is a part of me that would love to live with him-we currently live an hour and a half away from each other-but I like living alone. I like being able to come home to a quiet and empty apartment. I like being able to stay up late listening to music, watching TV, reading the next book for my book club, or baking cookies when my insomnia is acting up. Plus, based on our careers it doesn't make sense for us to live together as we'd both have to commute 30 mins to 1 hour and neither of us is interested in that.

Why I am talking about this? This past week was fantastic as my one of my best friends from college got married and I was a bridesmaid in her wedding. It was also a great weekend as this was the first time my boyfriend was able to meet my friends and family. He passed with flying colors!! The majority of my extended family and close friends live on the east coast or other parts of the country. Sure, I have friends where I live but it's different. As I mentioned in my last post, I don't feel as though I have a strong community in Albuquerque, but I'm working on it. Being around friends and family helped me recharge and put certain aspects of my life in perspective-I'm doing okay, even when I don't believe it.

Anyways, this blog is about ADVENTURES so let's get back to that. This was my boyfriend's first trip to the East Coast!!! When looking at buying plane tickets, we decided to go to NYC first as it was cheaper and we used it as an excuse to have some fun. New York is one of my favorite cities and I love showing it off. Granted we did the typical tourist attractions-Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, Ground Zero pools, Time Square-, but that's part of New York's charms. We had a ton of fun and then left for the wedding.

The wedding was held in Connecticut. It was a beautiful ceremony and because my friends are geeks I wore Star Wars shoes! Who said being a bridesmaid isn't fun? Speaking of wedding parties, it's a big deal!!! A part of me didn't realize how important it was being in a wedding party until I was standing at the front of the church, watching my friend marry her now husband, and then it hit me. Friends and family make up the good and bad memories in our lives, which is why they are important. They are our support systems and of course we want them to celebrate the good and help us through the tough. 

Bear with me in this hypothetical. Given everything above, if I was getting married I'd want my three closest friends in my wedding party. I love my siblings and they're supportive, but I'll always be the youngest and baby to them. I know they are proud of me and my accomplishments, but like the tough kid I am: I don't tell them when things are bad. 

I do tell my friends when I'm having bad days and that's why I'd have my friends in my wedding party. My friends and I call each other when we're ecstatic, celebratory, bored, depressed, or just having a typical day. Two of my best friends live in other parts of the country than I do and it's hard, but I value their text messages, phone calls, and skype sessions. Some of those calls are the highlights of my week. I guess what I'm trying to say is my friends are important to me and I love them very much. I don't make friends easily-I never have-so when someone is in my close friend group it means something of great importance. 

I hate to quote Grey's Anatomy, but this is how I see my best friends: 

Does it really surprise you that I'm Christina? 

  

Best Laid Plans of Mice and a Woman

When I first moved back to the southwest two years ago, I had a plan but as Steinbeck pounded into American Literature nothing happens like we plan. My plan was to move to Albuquerque, work my job for two years, build my acting and technical resume, get into grad school, and move. Well, I should have consulted the wind because it spun everything around and here I am...Still.

So, to begin. Shortly after my arrival I landed a really cool job, which I was contracted for two years. My contract ended in May and now I'm doing freelance. I loved working at the KiMo Theatre. It's a historical theatre and I learned so much. I honed my skills as a lighting designer, even though I still have more to learn. I worked with some awesome people and discovered that bureaucracy is a pain. Since I knew it was never a permanent situation, I wasn't upset when my contract ended.

Building my resumes: check. 

• Technical: I've clearly been doing that with the above paragraph. While at my job, I also worked freelance gig here and there to build my resume. Peeps, I make things look pretty!

• Acting: I've worked both on stage and film. I'm working on doing more film these days and recently signed with an agent. Of course, I'm an actor so I just want more. Yes, I'm ridiculous.

Grad school: applied and nope! Getting into an MFA for acting is hard. Of course, I had high hopes and it just didn't happen. I keep reminding myself that millions of actors didn't get MFAs and it's okay! I have mixed feelings about going to grad school so it's okay.

Moving: ...I don't want to live here forever, but for right now it's okay. Moving to a new place is always hard, especially if you don't have a support group. Moving here was hard because I didn't know many people. My first year was pretty lonely and my solution was to throw myself into work...not the best idea. Last year, I decided to work on my social life and having fun. It worked. Sometimes, I still feel lonely because I'm not the best at making friends. I'm an extrovert with introverted tendencies. I'm either nervous talking or being quiet. I'm used to being strong and independent so reaching out is difficult.

I had a discussion with one of my best friends from college recently and she told me of this: "This stone may be a resting place for a bit, but that doesn't mean you need to make a home there.”

It's okay that I'm at a stepping stone. It's okay that things don't go to plan. It's okay to be still because so much change has happened in the last two years that things need to settle.

Okay...okay...OKAY. Jeez, I sound depressing. In some ways, I'm the happiest I've ever been. I have an amazing relationship with a man who makes me laugh, made some great friends, and I wouldn't go back to change anything. The last two years have been about me growing into myself. I still have things to learn and that's the exciting part.

Dreams and Birthdays

Hey All!


Well, the end of February and the beginning of March was crazy, stressful, and down right horrid at moments. As mentioned in my last post my grandmother had a stroke. My family recently found out that my mother needs a full hystorectomy. They did find masses, but couldn't do a biopsy. So, we will have to wait until the surgery-April 14th-to find out. 

Saying that, it's the small blessings that make it a bit more bearable: working on a new show, going to auditions, getting a callback, being able to talk with family/friends, and being able to spend time with some great people to recharge. Some good has come out of of being home as well. For example: it is my pleasure to announce I've been cast!! This summer, I will be playing Lady Capulet in "Romeo & Juliet" and Helena in "A Midsummer Night's Dream."It has happened, I'm officially a paid actor. As many of you know, I work as a technician in theatre but my true passion is acting. I'm still doing tech work but now I get to do what I love. I feel very best and excited to be a part of this new experience.

I have moved back to the southwest, for a while but we shall see where my life takes me. 

Welcome to 2014!!!!

January has come and gone and now we are in the shortest month of the year. Saying that, January was an exciting and slightly crazy month for me.

After, A Christmas Carol, ended I spent the next couple of days hanging out with my mother's family on the east coast and celebrating Christmas. I believe that I have mentioned in older posts that Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays.

I won't go into details but Christmas is a big deal in my family. It was weird to not be home for Christmas, as this was my first one away.


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After a few days, I drove out with my partner to Ann Arbor, Michigan. I checked out the university and the town, while the weather permitted...Yes, I was there when the Arctic Blast hit Michigan and the Midwest. I'm not going lie and say it wasn't horrible. It was a pretty terrible. It snowed almost everyday and it was bitter cold.

I was supposed to leave Michigan on the 7th of January but due to weather and bad road conditions I was forced to stay until the 9th. On the 9th, I drove from Ann Arbor to St. Louis where I stayed with family friends. On the 10th, I visited college friend in St. Louis and then drove to Kansas, where two of my sisters live. It was great to see them. On the 11th, I drove to Oklahoma and stayed with family friends. Then, on the 12th I arrived back here in the southwest! During my road trip, I dodged storms and am now happy to be in a warmer climate.

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This last week has been rather exhausting as my grandmother had a stroke and I spent everyday with her in the hospital. Saying that, she is doing really well and is now in a rehab center. She had minimum damage--weakness in right arm and leg.

Marley's Face!

"To begin with, Marley was dead," the Narrator said to begin the telling of "A Christmas Carol." Yes, ladies and gentlemen, the show has closed. I cannot sum up my entire experience of the show in words. So, instead, I will give you a few glimpses.

Strike & Load-In: After Miss Saigon closed, we did strike which means that we that everything went away. The costumes and props went back to their departments, the set pieces were broken down, and the light plot was put back to rep. Now, let me explain the light plot.  When you go see a show there are lights hung on a plot. If the theatre has a rep plot, it means that lights are added and subtracted but at the end everything is put back to normal.

During load in, we added in new lights. This included conventional and intelligent lights. We hung light and circuited. Then we focused and dropped color. We basically got everything done as we could. before tech.

Tech: Since this show has been a tradition for the theatre for 20 years most of the bigger details have been figured out. Basically all that is left is the smaller stuff and fine tuning until the show is perfect.

My role in this show was being a Spot Op. This means that during the show, I sat in the catwalk with three other spot operators and followed actors. My spotlight had six color frames, which meant there were six colors for me to use. At one point in the show, I would go from frame six to one and then all the way through the colors to six. During tech, the Lighting Designer and Assistant Lighting Designer figured out the details of the design--this included when the spots would come up and on who.

Pre-show: Before every show, I had a list of duties that I had to do. This included checking the practicals. In this show, the practicals were multiple electronic candles and lamps on tables. After my duties, I would standby and help the Assistant Lighting Supervisor who was also the board op. This sometimes included changing out bulbs and retouching focus notes.

If everything checked out, I would go and hang out in the greenroom with my fellow crew members. There we would play poker, Bananagrams, BS, and Cards Against Humanity. It was fantastic!

Show: My light turns on and I spot people. We did a ton of morning shows for elementary and middle schoolers. It was great. One of the best things was hearing the reactions from the kids. They would freak out and scream at the ghosts and clap at the end.

From "Miss Saigon" to "A Christmas Carol"

Theatre is AMAZING!!!! During the run of Miss Saigon, the understudy for one of the principle actors had to go on. Everyone was nervous-cast & crew-because it meant that there were a hundred variable that could go wrong, but nothing did. Instead, the actor rose to the occasion and performed brilliantly. His performance from the other actor was different but both were a privilege to watch.

Saying that, the show has closed. The video link above is the production I worked on. It was fantastic and it was wonderful to work with so many talented people. I've made some more connections and am feeling better about the future.

I have been hired to work as a Spot Operator on A Christmas Carol. A Spot Op moves a single spot light around and lights whatever the designer wishes. I'm really excited to work on this production and to see the final product.

In the spirt of Christmas and Tiny Tim, "God Bless Us, Everyone!"